Matthew Federman (@matthewfederman )

Matthew Federman

Bio Co-Creator/EP #BloodandTreasure. Season 2: Summer 2020. Watch Season 1 here:…
Location Los Angeles, CA
Tweets 13,0K
Followers 5,5K
Following 610
Account created 08-11-2010 19:38:51
ID 213380637

Twitter Web App : [Man stands before me with gun]
Me: Please don't kill me.
Man with gun: Approximately 7500 people die every day in the United States. That’s approximately 645,000 people so far this year. I would only be killing 1 person. Just a little perspective.
Me: Ah yes, very well then.

Twitter Web App : The UPS guy told me UPS is hiring temp drivers for this spell. If you know anyone who could use the work, let them know. "We're busier than Christmas," he said, "and if we get more drivers, I can get back to my family before 10 at night."

Twitter Web App : I'm a bit into playing this and totally agree. It's been a slog, and a lot more frustrating than fun--which ain't right for a game about kicking demon butts.…

Twitter Web App : Everywhere they issue stay-at-home orders it positively impacts the curve and the news reports it like some kind of miracle, "Can this actually be helping?" Yeah, we are the disease vectors. Like how if you turn off your faucet, you'll note a distinct lack of water.

Twitter Web App : Just spoke to Gavin Newsom’s office about a California rent freeze. It’s not being discussed but they’re getting A LOT of calls and will bring it to the governor’s attention.

KEEP CALLING!!!! (916) 445-2841

Twitter Web App : Got this from Amazon about a package. Says it was handed directly to a resident but we havent been opening our door for anyone and there wasnt even a knock at the door. Do we think the delivery person stole it or someone jumped out of our bushes and pretended to live here?

Twitter Web App : Kaiser is also finding adults in their 30s and 40s unable to breathe on their own, and needing a ventilator…

Twitter Web App : This is going to be most hospitals in the country in the next couple of weeks, particularly the ones in states that screwed up and delayed the early shut-downs:…

Twitter Web App : Buying a ticket: Click here, your credit card info is already stored, just hit accept, here's an email with the ticket!
Returning a ticket: Print out ticket, paper must be parchment, to decode the address simply solve this riddle, allow at least 8 weeks for processing

Twitter Web App : I would go for a Farrow and Shaw movie. It's ALL THE PRESIDENTS MEN with arm butter and ass kicking.…