Random Nonsense Generator (@pimp_my_yugo )

Random Nonsense Generator

Bio ... too old, too white, too Catholic ...
Location Pennsylvania, USA
Tweets 10,8K
Followers 403
Following 577
Account created 20-07-2015 16:54:16
ID 3384747730

Android : Just dumped an entire Sonic hot fudge shake into my lap.

But wife grabbed a handful of napkins and mopped it up... so it still feels like a win.

Android : Sitting here wondering why I just spent 40 minutes online finding the perfect treats for my puppy when she enjoys her own poop.

Android : The phrase β€œfor every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction” describes every suggestion I’ve ever made to my wife.

Android : 5YO: When did I get inside mommy's tummy?
Me: June 9 2012, right after I made coffee and for the first time mommy saw me put the jar back in the cabinet